Having friends in our lives can mean more than not just feeling lonely. Scientific research shows are even health benefits to having good, supportive friendships in our adult lives. Avid fans of Grey’s Anatomy will all agree that the Meredith / Christina friendship dynamic has been a goal for many. Having coined the phrase “my person,” many of us have measured our friendships to that standard.
One in a Million
Jessica lay down on her bed and signed with gratitude that the day was finally over. It had been a rough day at work. They were busy with retrenchments, and she had to lay off four people that had been part of her team for the last five years. She felt gutted and drained. She had to keep herself together as each of those four people cried and pleaded to be kept on. She knew their situation was infinitely worse than hers and did not want to make it even more unbearable for them by crying herself.
Closing her eyes, she drifted off, only to be disturbed by her cell phone ringing at her side. Exhaustion fought with the desire not to check who it was, but her “Do not Disturb” was on, and only certain people could phone at that specific time. Glancing at the screen, she saw that it was Brienne, her best friend. Jessica answered immediately, knowing she would not call at this time if it were not important.
Brienne was crying. Great wracking sobs that made it incredibly difficult for her to talk.
“Brienne! Are you OK?” Jessica sat up straight in bed, alarmed at her friend crying her eyes out on the other side.
Incoherent mumbles followed by more crying were all that Jessica could make out. Terrified of what might be happening, Jessica rushed out of bed and dragged a pair of jeans over her night clothes, all the while trying to get her friend to calm down enough so she could find out what had happened. Eventually, she could make out “Andrew” and “Saint Mark’s Hospital.”
“I am on my way,” she said as she grabbed her keys and dashed out of the house.
Arriving at the hospital, the receptionist directed Jessica to the surgery waiting room; she was told that she would find Brienne there. Rushing through the halls, she vaguely thought that they really did not need to make the place like a blood maze. Dashing into the waiting room, she found Brienne pacing up and down. Seeing her friend, she dissolved into tears again and hurried over to hug Jessica. Jessica held her as she cried and saw that Andrew’s brother was also there. Allen was looking just as concerned at Brienne. Looking him in the eyes over her friend’s head, Jessica asked him what was going on.
“Andre had a heart attack. They took him into surgery to place a stent,” he answered somberly.
“What? How? He is not even forty yet!” Jessica exclaimed, hugging her friend even closer.
“We don’t know!” Brienne cried, her words muffled against Jessica’s shoulder.
“The doctor is very optimistic about his recovery. Brienne got him to the hospital in time,” Allen said.
“They suspect it might have been an underlying condition, but they are unsure.”
Jessica led Brienne to a chair, and they sat down to wait. Jessica went to get some coffee once Brienne stopped crying, and they sat together and drank their coffee in silence.
After what felt like forever, the doctor returned to say that they successfully placed the sent, and Andrew should recover fully, with a couple of days rest.
Only Brienne would be allowed to go in and see him, so Jessica and Allen left with promises to return the next day.
Unconditional Support
Two days after Andrew had a heart attack, Jessica was taking them some cooked meals to add to their freezer. Tired herself, she had been thinking of taking a day or two off next week just to try and recuperate. It has been an exhausting couple of days, but Jessica would not be anywhere else than where she was needed.
Brienne had been the one to pick her up after her divorce two years ago. Jessica had been married for seven years when she found out her husband had not only cheated but he had gotten his mistress pregnant. It had been a particularly hard blow as Jessica herself struggled with infertility. She could not see past the betrayal, and although she had learned to forgive him, trusting him again had been impossible, so they split up.
There had been days when it took all of Jessica’s strength just to bathe and go to work. She had basically stopped eating and was losing a lot of weight. It had been Brienne that had mercilessly cajoled and, at times, bullied her into eating and taking care of herself. Being there for each other was just what they did.
Smiling as she entered the home, Jessica went to the kitchen and added the food to the freezer before starting the kettle to make some tea. Walking through the house, she found Brienne in the study, looking over some of the bills that needed to be paid.
“Hey,” Jessica said as she entered.
“Hi,” Brienne answered, distracted.
Jessica grinned at her friend’s concentration. Once Brienne started with something, getting her to let it go was difficult. Content to wait for her to finish, Jessica sat down and scrolled through her phone. The kettle boiling interrupted her, and she got up to make both of them some tea.
Brienne joined her in the kitchen while she was still putting around with the different brews available.
“I never thanked you for coming out to the hospital and doing all of this,” Brienne said softly as Jessica handed her a cup of tea.
“You know you don’t need to thank me,” Jessica scoffed, sipping on her own cup.
“I know, but I feel like it needs to be said. Andrew said last night that he had no one except his brother that he would know would do what you did for us. I know that that day was tough for you, but you still showed up. I just don’t want you to think that I take that type of thing for granted.”
“I don’t,” Jessica smiled.
“Andrew has even said that he thinks he should try and join a cycling group; perhaps he can meet some people that he can relate to and find his own person. He is joking that you should also have a say, so we can all at least go to places together.”
Jessica laughed; Andrew was an introvert, so meeting new people would be a bit difficult for him, but she was glad that he felt inspired to try.
Out of the Woods
Andrew was looking at new cycling groups in his area. There were a couple on social media, and he wanted to look at some of them to find one he fits in with. Glancing at Brienne in bed next to him, he showed her an article that he found about friendship.
“See, it says that friendship can help prolong your life. As well as being good for your social health.”
“Trust you into making friends a research project,” Brienne chuckled.
“I think that the points made are really true. I was terrified for you, but I knew that Jessica would be there for me, no matter what. It helped calm me down after the initial hysteria, of course.”
“I was grateful to know there would be someone for you, and you would not be alone.”
Conclusion
Having your own person, best friend, another half, or just all-around buddy is a valuable relationship to cultivate. Like all relationships, it requires work and effort from both parties. Let’s remember these precious relationships in our day-to-day lives. A mutually beneficial friendship is truly a relationship worth all the effort.
